Imperfect Transitioning

Imagine your health journey like a cocoon.

I don't need pity, I need relationship, connection, and others going through similar seasons. Some people have been super kind to tell me I have changed so much that "it's like you are a literal butterfly." When in reality I am still in the cocoon. The middle is where the magic happens. It is the space where you discover your purpose and strength. With every big goal, comes a big season. A season of decision, action, failure, and celebration. Most of the time it isn't that cut and dry or at least it doesn't feel like it. My goal to prioritize my health is a journey I am choosing to take for the rest of my life. WHY? Because life feels amazing and free when I can breath, run, push myself, and think rationally. Why am I showing you a beast of a master bedroom? 3 months ago, 2 generous friends pushed me and helped me make this room a peaceful space. It was beautiful, so a big part of me feels shame for this cocoon to have only taken 3 months to get out of hand. We have prioritized other parts of our home, I have been contending for a drop-in-able home for years and years, so I am not going to let this room being out of hand, steal my joy! I am obviously not "literally a butterfly." I am literally choosing NOT to be the caterpillar anymore. We were meant to choose the cocoon. We were meant to transform into messy goo, and have faith we will be able to transform into something whole again. Don't be afraid to be messy. The heart work is MESSY! If you want to feel joy through the messy, you have to be willing to dig inside and be real with yourself, and sometimes others in my case 😉 I thrive on accountability, and transparency. That doesn't mean this room will get done today, or tomorrow... It means this room and my shame in owning my role in the mess, doesn't have power over me anymore. I want to challenge you to make the decision to stop being the caterpillar! Choose to step into your own cocoon. Embrace it, be an active participant in your transformation. I can't make that decision for you. Your spouse can't make it for you... There is only space in your cocoon for you to do the work. I promise, you are not alone, we are all actively messy goo when we are choosing to do the heart work. Don't continue to stand in this alone! Find people who aren't afraid to sit in it with you. If you don't have someone like that in your life, please reach out to ME. I would love to sit in the mud with you.

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©2017 by @kris10payne

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