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Pay Attention!

Do you actually listen to your spouse?

We got married when I was 19 years old... 21 days before my 20th birthday. I was clueless along with being completely, hopelessly, and foolishly, in love with my best friend.

... warning this may get mushy but I promise if you are like me, or if you are like my husband, or if you are in a relationship with someone we remind you of... you will want to listen. ... but literally no one listens to Kristen... even if I have fantastic advice, so I won't be offended if you pass this up 😉... because like always... this will end up long winded. Long winded but worth it!

My husband is THE most important person in my LIFE! I still know the specific moment I knew I wanted to spend my entire life with this guy. We are very human, we fight, and have our issues like everyone else... but I knew if I followed my heart, ultimately sharing my life with him would mean walking my whole life along side the one person I was meant to. He is quiet, outgoing, funny, oh so charming, a closet romantic, and my very own halcyon.

Early in our marriage... but not early enough and this could have been the downfall of our relationship if I hadn't started to truly see him and listen closely... I started to notice songs he would share, and it all began on MySpace. Before this I had never notice the words to songs, I was a beat girl...

but here is where it gets ridiculously, stupid, romantic... you may even barf a little...

I noticed a line in a song that he shared and it sounded like us. Our situation.

At this time he was serving a year in South Korea, unaccompanied... which means his family was not on his orders to be stationed with him. I had just had our first child, after spending my entire pregnancy already without him, and now as a young mom, was unknowingly battling post partum depression.

During this time in 2007, I stumbled across a song that I had to look up the words for, while I listened... because I knew Garrett was trying to say something where words were failing us. For the life of me I can't remember the name of the song or who the artist was, but it was the first of many breadcrumbs that lead us back to each other.

In that moment, I saw into his heart...

Those of you married to introverts can understand how hard it is to truly catch those few vulnerable moments with them...  last night was one of those moments.

The song that slapped me in the face last night was released in 2008... it took me 9 years to hear the words... 

Here we were, surrounded by couples, with arms holding on to each other, while they took in this amazing performance... and I had tears rolling down my cheeks.


Because I felt so dumb for not paying attention before... yet so grateful for being allowed in to see more of my husband in that moment. After 14 years of marriage it is pretty special to still have moments of learning more about your spouse. When an introvert opens themselves up to being vulnerable... pay attention, be present, and be quiet... they don't open up often... and if you are an extrovert/ambeivert, like myself, you will miss important opportunities if you fail to align their personality in those moments. 

First moral of the story...  pay attention to the details people choose to share with you.

Second moral of the story... go listen to City and Colour... maybe even share it with a love one!

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